A post for my mother...

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 

Her children stand and bless her. 

Her husband praises her: 

"There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but YOU surpass them all!" 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise."

~Proverbs 31: 25-31

   Mothers Day. What a ridiculous day. I mean honestly... Lets think about it. Here is a woman who carried you in her Body for NINE months, went through hours of intense/painful labor so you could be introduced to the world, and has taken care of you every day sense. She has taught you had to walk and talk. She has provided pretty much Every meal for you from age 0-18. She has decided the best school for you, the best church for you, the best environment for you to grow up in. In fact, almost Every decision your mother has made since the day she found out she was pregnant has in some way been with You in mind!! She has prayed from you more. Loved you better. Believed in you when no one else did. Championed you into every ridiculous dream you had. Listened when no one else would. She has cried more, laughed more, and loved more when it has come to you then we will ever know. I say all this to support my first statement: Mothers Day is ridiculous. We give the woman who has made our very existence possible ONE DAY! ONE. ONE. ONE!!!! We have decided that for ONE day a year we will send her flowers, ask her where She wants to eat, and tell her we really appreciate her. And then on May 14th... It all goes back to normal. We get back to our complaining and unthankfulness. Wishing that our mom would just leave us alone. We wish that she would just Understand us. We wish that she would stop asking us where we are when we haven't talked in 5 days! We think about how great it will be when we finally get to move out and her terrible rules are suffocating us anymore. We wonder.... what would life be without my mother. The very woman that carried us in her body and molded her entire life around us is no longer honored and appreciate the way she should be... It is time that we recognize the GIFT we have in our mother! It is a gift straight from the Father! 

   I woke up this morning and remembered it was Mothers Day. I contemplated writing my mom a nice text or posting a nice facebook status, both of which I will probably do. I thought about goggling a sweet mothers day quote. I even typed in the word "mother" in my iphone Bible to see what verses came up. I was searching for something meaningful. Something that would say everything in my heart. Something that would bring a tear to my mom's eye and would maybe even convey for just a moment the love I have for her in my heart. It was after looking through several verses that lacked any sort of inspirational text, that I decided to read through Proverbs 31. I've always been told this is the kind of woman I should shoot to be. A Proverbs 31 woman is the ultimate goal when it comes to a wife and a mother. As I read through it, especially 25-31, I realized something... I have that type of woman in my life already! I have been in the presence of a Proverbs 31 woman for the past 20 years! My mother is truly clothed with strength and dignity. She has carried our family through thick and thin, while beautifully supporting my father in every dream and calling on his life. And when she laughs, it comes from a place of pure joy. There is no fear left in my mother. When I am worried about the future and trying to figure it all out, she is the one always pointing me back to Jesus and teaching me what a life fully dependent on Him really looks like. The wisdom that my mother carries is unparalleled and it is in the moments of her correction that her kindness is most evident. Within our home, she is constantly on the move, serving us and providing a wonderful home to live in. Day in and day out my mother goes above and beyond to be the best mother she can be and it is time for me as her daughter to stand up and bless her! So here I am.... doing my best to let her and the rest of the world know just how amazing of a mother I have. No woman can compare. No love can match her love for me and the love in my heart I have for her will never be shaken. I will honestly spend the rest of my life trying to convey just how grateful I truly am for the mother God gave to me. I know everyone says this, but it is especially true for me: I would NOT be where I am today had it not been for my mom. I would not be walking out the crazy dreams on my heart, had it not been for a mother who did it first. I would not have the unshakable faith I have today, had it not been for my mother who walks in absolutely ridiculous faith! I would not be able to love the people around me, had it not been for a mother who has loved thousands around the world. I would not have my love for the nations, had it not been for a mother who took me to the nations With her and showed me how to love the hardest and darkest! Most of all, I would not know Jesus, let alone Love Him, had it not been for a mother who had laid her very life down at His feet and loved Him more beautifully than anyone I have ever seen. One day is not enough to express just how much my mother means to me and just how important she is to me! This woman is priceless and worthy of hearing just how amazing she is every day for the rest of her life!

   So today I honor you, Janet Baxter. I say I would not be the person I am today had it not been for you. I say I love you. My love for you grows every day. I say I am sorry for every disappointment I have brought you. I say I am sorry for not appreciating you the way I should. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for always praying for me. Thank you for loving me the way you do. Thank you for taking me into the Nations for the past 20 years. Thank you for introducing me to the Lover of my Soul. Thank you for being my amazing, world-changing, Jesus loving, mother!

   Today, I bless you. Today, I honor you. 

I love you. 

Month 1: There's no place I'd rather be

Hey guys! First off, I just want to say I am so sorry I suck at keeping everyone updated! I truly need to start blogging more and sharing all the crazy things God is doing here. So yeah, I'm sorry and will try my best to get better at the updating!

Man, this past month has been crazy. As many of you know, I am on the Leadership Track in Kona, Hawaii, hanging out while I love Jesus and catch vision for the future. Honestly coming here I had no idea what the heck I was getting myself into and honestly i think that has almost helped me. For too long I've spend time being disappointed because things didn't meet my "expectations." So when I came here I was so opened and ready for God to do whatever He wanted. The schedule is pretty dang busy. So much so that I was beginning to think it was a little much after the first week. Between spending 13 required hours in the prayer room a week, memorizing the sermon on the mount, reading a different book every couple weeks, and work from 9-11:30 every morning at the farm on campus..... I honestly was EXHAUSTED in the beginning and wondering what the line between servanthood and being overworked was. I knew I had come here to serve and learn what it was like to be a servant leader, but I truly felt like the schedule was just a bit ridiculous! However, as days passed I started to step back and say "wait a minute, Jenn.... you asked God to teach you want it was like to serve, and here you are, with your hand on the plow, digging those deep wells of servanthood." I had this list before I came of all the things I wanted to learn and grow in through serving the base and when the work I was doing failed to line up with my list I jumped right back to complaining and feeling like it was all pointless. I quickly learned in the first 2 weeks that God's list of what I was going to learn in this time and my list were Very different. At first, that sucked to accept but now it is just so good! Needless to say, it has been a pretty busy month but the Lord has given SO much grace to me in this time. Though I want to crash every day about 1 o'clock there is the grace to get my butt up and make it to the prayer room, not only because its required but because I know Jesus will meet me in those times. I now appreciate the schedule laid out in the Leadership Track. I know that it has given me the opportunity to serve, intercede, worship, learn & build relationships in a way that I would have never done on my own.

Apart from all the hands on work that I have been doing, God has been doing some awesome things in my life lately. I can say now, for the first time in months, that I am at an amazing place in life! There is a deep joy, a deep peace, a deep contentment that carries me through each day. I am loving the place God has me. I'm loving the condition that my heart is in. I'm Loving the people I'm running with. Every day God is meeting me in a new and fresh way. I seriously CAN'T GET ENOUGH. I will say, however, that this time has definitely come with its far share of "challenges." Its like right when you think you're doing great, God points out another thing in your heart. There have been weekly, Daily struggles, things that come up or issues I don't want to walk through, but for the first time in my Life no matter what comes or what things I have to conquer, my heart continues to cry out "Lord, You are Good! and I love You! Lord, You are GOOD and I love You!" For the first time I know that I know that I know that God is good, He always is and always will be and its a joy to walk through the hard things. Its a joy to go to the deep issues. Its a Joy because I am being prepared for battle. I am being prepared to be sent out in the nations and I can no longer afford to wallow in my own crap while the people of the world die without hearing the name of Jesus. Point blank. Enough is enough.

On another exciting note, since being here that have been SO many opportunities thrown my way for this year. I am not planning on staffing the DTS coming up this summer here in Kona, so I have really just been open to whatever doors God opens up. For one, I know that I am not suppose to commit to anything until this module of the Leadership Track is up in June, but I AM beginning to have some serious dream sessions with Jesus. The possibilities of this year get me STOKED! I will most likely stay on the track here and still be involved in the Awaken DTS to some degree. Awaken is my family and I just want to be running with them in some capacity! I know that I'll be going home at the end of October for the birth of my first niece/nephew!! However, the rest is up in the air. Everything honestly rides on 2 things: 1)A clear word from the Lord and 2)Finances! I believe that wherever God wants me the money will be provided, but looking forward right now I literally have NO clue how! haha! I really want to make it back to the main land for my good friends wedding at the end of July and to see my sister all cute and pregnant! I will be writing more on the possibilities of the rest of this year as God says yes and I can begin to prepare but until then.... I am Loving where I am at!!

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me and staying updated on my whereabouts... I'm kind of all over the place but I'm seriously Loving it right now!

If you would like to help out financially through monthly support or a onetime gift please click the link at the top of the page! If you would like to send a check or a letter or a box or...... anything else awesome my address here is:  75-5851 Kuakini Highway #87, Kailua-Kona, HI 96740-2199, USA

Love you all! I'll update again soon!